Once Upon A Time…

I once moved in with a radio personality and lived my life on the air.

I was thinking about my “used to be” and “once did” list.  I can’t help but feel like I’ve missed out on something.  Like when you miss a party and all your friends are raving about it and using inside jokes.  I guess I’ve been on both sides of the inside jokes, but the barometer of life one sets is different for each and every one of us.  What I mean is each one of us has a different expectation for our everyday and long-term lives.  Along the way we change, usually because our lives develop and we become the people we were meant to be.  Just our true selves.  The issue that I struggle with lately is the realization that although I might love where I am in life, there are things that I wish I could bring from my past.  I used to be able to do a walk over and a toe touch.  I once had the freedom to lay by the pool before I started my day.  Have you ever talked to a co-ed and remembered that college was the best time of your life?  And though it seems like just yesterday, your years of dressing like a hippy and running around without money worries are long gone.  I realize that some of my “used to be-s” are borderline absurd, but it’s a part of who I am, regardless of time and space.  Who I used to be will always be me, but I find myself resenting some of the development and change.  The only solace I have is that years from now, the fact that I used to be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed won’t matter as much as the “I am” and “I am doing” list of today.